


This whole Sterek thing, and why it makes no sense

by phyllisverse



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-21
Updated: 2013-01-21
Packaged: 2017-11-26 08:48:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/648756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phyllisverse/pseuds/phyllisverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My name is Stiles and I'm here because I've been alerted to something really disturbing going on behind my back and need to set the record straight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This whole Sterek thing, and why it makes no sense

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nothercucumber](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothercucumber/gifts).



> Disclaimer: None of the characters or story lines belong to me. *sadface*
> 
> Note: Just a little ramble written for fun a while ago.

Uhm. Hi. My name is Stiles and I'm here because I've been alerted to something really disturbing going on behind my back and need to set the record straight. The thing is, there have been people - you know who you are - who have had this mad idea that me and Derek Hale, alpha werewolf and glaring stalker of the century, would make a good couple. Those _people_ have even given us a pet name. Sterek. Which is... unimaginative, but at least my initial is first. 'Diles' would just be horrible.

Ok, I'll say this very slowly, for anyone who might not have noticed: I. Like. Lydia. 

And when I say "like", I mean I would do a lot of very embarrassing things to get her to notice me and to get her from the "what's a Stiles?" stage to the "Stiles is the most amazing person on earth" stage. Well, maybe not on earth, I'll settle for Beacon Hills. Or just on our Lacrosse team. Point is, I would be so much better for her than Jackson, who got his face painted on by the same people that design Ken-dolls and now thinks he's a god. Alright, maybe not just his face. I've had the unfortunate luck to see him completely naked, and even after having been a big ugly ninja reptile with a blue face he manages to look like someone out of those muscle magazines. Which I _do not read_ , by the way! I just saw one once. By accident. It wasn't even mine! Anyway, he looks like that, Jackson. And I don't. But that's really the only thing he's got over me. And there's more to people than looks, right?

I meant the last bit, because I think those _people_ I was talking about might not really be paying attention to anything _but_ looks. All right, so Derek Hale rocks the whole leather-jacket-and-stubble look, which would make me look like a homeless person. (I tried growing a stubble once. It took bloody ages and people kept telling me I had dirt on my chin.) So what. I'm on the Lacrosse team, I'm frequently in the boy's locker rooms. There are a _lot_ of good-looking guys on our team. Who I see shirtless. A lot. And yeah, hey, I can appreciate it, but most of them are as dumb as a brick wall and that makes them kind of unattractive. Ok, one of them is also my best friend, but you've got to make exceptions. He's family.

So since we're on the subject, I should probably mention that I'm not that into guys in general. If you noticed, Lydia looks nothing like a guy. And that's a good thing in my book. And you heard my dad, I'm not gay. Parents should know, right? ... Ok, so I'll be honest, this whole bisexuality thing, I've kind of not ruled that out. Mostly because of the existence of Danny, who is awesome, and not as dumb as a brick wall. But I don't particularly want to snog him. I'd just really like him to like me. I mean, as a person. A friend person. I don't know why, especially because he's mates with Jackson and I don't want to hang with that crowd. But he's still kind of cool and hey, maybe I will need an excuse to go to a gay bar at some stage. You can't just shut out half your possibilities, and some of those transvestites were serious stuff, man. I wouldn't want to mess with them. I'd really want them to mess with the people who mess with _me_.

Ok, back to Derek. Point one, he's a guy. That's not the problem. Anyone can see he's good-looking, even someone with a blindfold on, so that's not the problem either. He's not Lydia, which _is_ a problem, because I don't really pay attention to others when she's around - but yeah, let's pretend that I'll miraculously get over her by tomorrow. 

Derek is _not_ a nice person. And if there's anyone he can be a nice person _to_ , then I'm not on that list. I'm not even on the list of runner-ups. I'm on the list that will never even get to meet the other list because it's so far down the back of a drawer. The guy can't stand me, and it's pretty mutual. Whenever he sees me, he wants to slam me into things. No, I don't mean it that way! Believe me, there is _nothing_ erotic about having your head smashed into a steering wheel - you try it if you like, and then get back to me, and don't complain about the nosebleed because I warned you.

Seriously, you need to grow up if you think physical violence is the outlet to some kind of attraction. In that case, Derek would be attracted to a LOT of people. Including his own uncle. Let's not go there.

The thing I heard about that made people think 'Sterek' was a good idea was that I saved his life in that swimming pool, and that he's kind of kept me alive on a few occasions as well. But I'd have done the same for anyone in that stupid pack; Derek is Scott's alpha - well, he was then - and Scott needed him, and so did I. All right? It was a matter of cooperation for survival. We couldn't have gotten rid of that Kanima alone, you know. 

Derek's kind of changed though. It's weird because I don't even like him so it's not like I'm paying attention, but he seemed seriously gutted that Scott hadn't told him about his little plan. Thing is, _I_ was gutted about that. Scott and I are best mates. It would be a bit much to say we talk about everything, but we talk, and usually, _I'm_ the one who comes up with the cunning plans, but this time, I didn't have a clue what was going on, and it would really have been nice to know that we were going to kick Gerard's ass when he was beating me up. I'm not complaining. Just saying that at that moment, I kind of knew how Derek felt, and that's not something that happens a lot. It happens really, really rarely. Derek's got this whole I-don't-trust-anyone thing going on and ok, I get that, people have betrayed him and he thinks he's learned from it. But he still needs people, like his pack, and Scott, and even Peter who gives me the creeps, but he treats them all like he gives shit-all about them. I know that's not true, but I'm not sure he's admitted that to himself. 

The other thing is; well, you know how I said being as dumb as a brick wall can make anyone unattractive? Derek's not as dumb as a brick wall, but he's still got one built a few inches in front of his forehead and it's kind of ruining the view for him. When he first started "teaching" Scott, the only reason I didn't give him a piece of my mind was because I don't heal at supernatural speed. Telling Scott that pain and anger were the best ways to keep him human and anchored? Geeeez. Zero people-skills. I mean, you've _met_ Scott. He's not the pain and hate type. It's kind of obvious, especially when he's anywhere within a one-mile-radius of Allison.

It's not because Derek's stupid, I get that. He's no Einstein, but the whole hate thing is not missing neurones talking, it's his signature. Here's a secret: I know self-loathing. Up close and personal, and we don't get along, but I still invite it back around every time. Now, none of us really know what happened during the Hale fire. I've done the research, I've seen the official files (including the undisclosed ones) and I still don't get why Kate Argent wanted them all dead so badly and why she couldn't give it a rest until she killed Derek too. That woman was a nutcase, but even nutcases have their motivations. So I don't know why it happened. But I know self-hate when I see it and I'll bet my jeep that Derek blames himself for the death of his family, and single-handedly at that. He thinks it's all his fault. I know because he looks at everyone like they're blaming him, or like they _should_ be if they aren't blaming him. It's the look I don't give my dad anymore. I've learned not to. 

Ok, so maybe it's not _that_ rare that I understand Derek. I'm no good at psycho-analysing myself but if I told a therapist this, they'd probably say one of the reasons I don't like him is because he reminds me of things in myself that I don't like. I'm not violent like him. But I'm also not a werewolf who can kick in walls and recover from bullet wounds in a few minutes. To be honest, that thing Peter said to me still scares me, because I still don't know if I was lying or not, and if Peter was telling the truth about my heartbeat. I don't know if I wanted the bite. Well, no, I know I didn't want it, but I'm not sure I _only_ didn't want it. And I don't actually know what I'd do with all the supernatural crap if I had it. I wouldn't trust myself with powers like that. I don't think I'd be a hero. I don't think I'd be any better than Derek because I'd probably get a whole load of people killed before I had his self-control. Which he has despite or maybe because of that whole anger thing. It's getting better, too. But he still likes to hit things. Not me so much recently, but there've been a lot more other things to hit.

I never quite know what Derek thinks about me. It bothers me a bit. I mean, I'm not one of the popular kids, I can live with people not liking me, but those people usually tell me to my face. Or they slam me into lockers, so I get the message. If they _do_ like me, they care about whether I get hurt, and might even do something to make sure I'm not. And Derek fits both categories, because he doesn't trust me, and well, I mentioned the slamming into things. But when I was at that hospital and he realised that Peter was the Alpha? He put himself in the line of fire to keep me out of it. And there wasn't anyone else. Strategically, it would have been smarter to stay outside and to let me die. Again, not complaining! Just... when someone does that for you, wouldn't you think they _don't_ hate you? I spent two hours holding him up in that swimming pool, I had a lot of time to think about it. Derek said he doesn't trust me, but also that I don't trust him, and well, he's got a point, right? You can always blame it on the other person, someone's got to give the first advance of trust. 

If I look at it now, I guess I already have. I don't trust him completely, but for example, I trust him that he had a reason for keeping Peter with him. Not saying I'm happy with it. They managed to save Jackson though, something that hadn't even been an option before. I can't pinpoint the moment that I started trusting Derek, but I know that I have. And I think he might have, too. 

All that made me wonder what would happen if Derek started trusting people again. He'd need a new anchor. He's never going to be Scott, he'll never have someone like Allison. Scott told me Isaac's anchor was his dad; ok, the _memory_ of his dad before he started abusing him - and geez, that's just mental. Guess it's the middle way between love and hate. Maybe that's where Derek is getting to. I wonder if mum could ever be my anchor, or if I'll always have to think of her dying in order to think of her alive. I wonder if Derek's family could be his anchor without making him hate himself every time he thinks of them.

Still, the point is - yeah, you think I'm not making a case for myself here, but I am - the point is that I'm not about to go up to Derek and tell him any of that. If I did, I'd really have to come up with a better excuse to explain the bruises to my dad. See, it's simple. I've got a reflex, a coping mechanism: sarcasm and saying horrible things when I should keep my mouth shut. Derek's reflex is to throw you against the nearest hard surface. It's incompatible, because hard surfaces cause pain, and when I feel pain, I don't shut up. So we'd just end up killing each other. And that's why the only way we could ever talk to each other properly would be with him chained up. No, NOT how you think! Geez. Anyway, he'd hate me if I said any of this. Well, he might. It would help if I had any idea whether he likes me at all. 

But all of that is irrelevant! I like _Lydia_ , not Derek. So there.


End file.
